Serial Killer in Training or Future U.S. President?

One of my favorite computer games is Civilizations. The jist of the game is that you build a civilization, from scratch over a period of 6000+ years. The goal? Domination, of course, either via culture, diplomacy, technology or, of course, warfare.

The most recent one, Civ 4 is pretty damned cool and is unfortunately how I am spending a majority of my free time. However sometimes, the correct game play mechanics just aren't that fun for someone with my personality.

So here we are, around 500 BC when I get a little bored. I was given a crappy starting location by the computer, so I decide it's time for a little payback.

I go into the World Builder (pretty much a game editor) and give myself a couple dozen MBT (Main Battle Tanks), mechanized infantry units, Navy SEALs, helicopter gun ships, and of course fighter/bombers complete with carrier.

Now, obviously it wasn't a challenge taking on all the computer units with units from 5000 years in the future. But it was fun.

In Civ 4, when the units die, they tend to scream and cry. They also fly backwards and do all sorts of other things that stroke the evil villain within. Now, these are much funnier in motion, but still, some of the stills tell a pretty good job. Clicky to enlarge!


'Stand your ground, men. There's no way he can beat our arrows!'

'This will teach you for not wearing underpants!'

'Holy shit, that hurt like a mother fucker!'

'Your white flag is no match for my cannon, beeyach!'

'The scream was weak, but I'll give the landing a 6.7...'

'DUCK!'

'Your 120mm cannon is no match for my wooden club!'

'Hey! Watch it, fucker!'

'They killed Kenny! You bastards!' (Apparently the vest could stop a .45 at point blank, but was no match for a pointed stick!)

'THIS IS FOR KENNY!!!!!!!!!!!'

'Ooog no get hazard pay for this shit...'